In a candid conversation on the «Fashion Neurosis» podcast with designer Bella Freud, BTS leader RM offered a rare glimpse into the personal philosophy, artistic anxieties, and daily realities that govern his life as a global pop star.
The 31-year-old artist, born Kim Nam-joon, reflected on steering the world’s biggest boy band for 15 years, admitting that his approach to group management has fundamentally evolved. Moving away from what he described as an overly assertive leadership style during the band’s early years, RM offered a grounded analogy for his current role within the seven-member group.
«A leader is just like this: everybody is lying on the couch and the window is open and it’s too cold, so somebody has to close it,» RM told Freud. «Nobody wants to because it’s too comfy lying on the couch. If one single person has to stand up and walk a few steps to close the door, I think that’s what a leader does for every part of the team.»
Navigating short-form culture and high fashion
Despite achieving historic chart dominance, RM voiced a growing anxiety regarding the relentless pace of modern digital media, noting that constant short-form content leaves him feeling nervous and pressured to produce continuous output. To maintain balance, he deliberately seeks distance from commercial metrics by immersing himself in nature and slow-burning cultural experiences like cinema and literature.
That search for artistic depth also extends to his relationship with fashion. Recalling a pivotal moment in 2014 when he first entered a Rick Owens boutique in Seoul, RM described experiencing Stendhal syndrome, an overwhelming emotional reaction to intense beauty, over the designer’s structural silhouettes.
«I got no money, I couldn’t afford any piece of Rick,» RM recalled. «That was the first time that I got such a Stendhal syndrome for clothes. I first realised that a colour called black could be various like this.»
While discussing his current preference for muted tones from houses like Prada, he also laughed about his early airport fashion choices, including bright pink Golf Wang socks and donut-printed shirts, calling them a reminder of a purer, younger era.
Literature, fine art and the WINGS connection
RM’s artistic evolution has long been anchored in literature. During the interview, he revisited his adolescent fascination with Hermann Hesse’s novel «Demian», which he read repeatedly as a teenager to process feelings of envy and social inadequacy.
That literary obsession famously became the conceptual bedrock for BTS’s groundbreaking 2016 album «WINGS» and its «Blood Sweat & Tears» music video, where RM recited quotes from the book over classical visual themes. Ironically, RM confessed during the podcast that he did not step foot into a real fine art museum until 2018 when bandmate V invited him to an exhibition, proving that the iconic museum aesthetic of the 2016 era was forged entirely from his literary imagination rather than physical gallery visits.
Since that first museum trip, fine art has become a central pillar of his life. RM now maintains an extensive collection focused primarily on modern Korean masters, while also preparing an upcoming exhibition with the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art pairing Korean and Western artists.
Escaping the obsession with normality
Discussing his solo work, including the album Right Place, Wrong Person, RM touched upon the psychological toll of seeking an ordinary existence while living an extraordinary life. He explained how a single word can dominate a person’s mindset and why he has actively tried to break free from chasing a conventional life.
«Sometimes a language or a single word could define your entire world. So just my obsession with a word, normality, that was the way, one of the best ways to get away from it,» RM shared. «You should be normal. You should just be one of them. Because I am living like a strange life. But as I got to obsess with the, like, ‘Oh, I want to be like a normal person. I just want to be one of them.’ And as I got obsessed with it, I think it just runs away from me even more. So I’m just, I’m trying to stop thinking about normality.»
The «undercover» life and human duality
When asked about managing fame, RM described his existence as an «undercover life,» likening the balance of public expectations and private identity to being a thief at night and a police officer by day. Rather than forcing these conflicting worlds into a single rigid persona, he now embraces human contradiction as a creative asset.
«When I was in my twenties, I thought that I should have an edge and be described as just one edge,» he said. «As time passed by, I realised that a human being and an identity is always so much of a complex, complicated thing. It was all about contradictions and dualities.»
This appreciation for duality shapes his personal taste across disciplines. When asked what he finds attractive in others, RM noted a preference for people who balance seriousness with sharp humour. Creatively, he continues to bridge disparate worlds, referencing collaborations with veteran visual artist Wing Sha for his solo record Right Place, Wrong Person, while recommending Korean punk acts like No Brain and psychedelic icons Sanullim to listeners looking for the Korean equivalent of Western alternative rock.
